Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
