BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
