If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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