okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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