I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
