somebody snuck up and got me drunk
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
