Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
