I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize