you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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