dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
