Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
