Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
So apparently I’m into choking now
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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