i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
