I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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