I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
