Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
