I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
So squirting runs in the family.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
