it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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