I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
