i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I CAN MOONWALK!
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
sarcasm needs its own font
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
