i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I showed him my bush... on skype.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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