$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
