I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
