it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
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