If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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