i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
