please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Well I just put wine in my tea
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
