She announced her abortion via fbk
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
