Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
