A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
