you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize