just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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