it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
