No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
