I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
