You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Randomize
