She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
