its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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