What a fucking waste of an outfit
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
