Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
