but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
