ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
