so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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