That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
