At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
