I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
