I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Im part way to drunk.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
PANTIES FOUND
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
