this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
It's no shave November. This is our time.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
