I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
