Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
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