you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
MIDGETS
????
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
