We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
