Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
