was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
