I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
