I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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