I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
