remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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