I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize