Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
