Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
