My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
