U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
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