after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
